After performing as a musical guest on the show to promote his upcoming album, Morgan Wallen made headlines when he abruptly left the Saturday Night Live stage. Here is everything you need to know about the artist. Birthplace: Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, Tennessee Genre: See name Default Setting: Aggrieved Fandom Name: Whites Controversies: 2016present Favorite ...

TECOLUCA, EL SALVADORSaying things had only gone downhill after a terrible morning, lawful U.S. resident Oscar Fernandez-Lopez, 38, stated Wednesday that he had already been having a bad day before being deported to the Salvadoran mega-prison known as CECOT. “I knew things were heading in the wrong direction when I spilled coffee on my shirt, […] The ...

BEND, ORPointing out how the 4-year-old Jack Russell terrier was already shaking with anticipation, avid bungee jumper Isaac Branch confirmed Thursday that his dog also loves bungee jumping. Rockos obsessed with bungee jumpinghe does it all the time! said Branch, 25, who described the 15-pound canine as a total adrenaline junky who gets so riled […] The ...

The abrupt cancellation of government funding for programs to help food banks distribute healthy, local food is being felt across the country, with some already strapped organizations turning to their local communities for help. What do you think? The post U.S. Food Banks Struggle Under Funding Cuts appeared first on The Onion.

SAN DIEGOWith the spellbound audience in the Marine Trash Experience amphitheater shouting and squealing with excitement, SeaWorld visitors were reportedly delighted Wednesday by a live garbage-patch feeding. The keepers threw a bunch of plastic bags into the middle of the habitat, and all of a sudden this enormous blob of debris floated up and swallowed ...

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SPRINGFIELD, VAIn a decision meant to crack down on the allegedly dangerous substance and the “total fucking bitch” who uses it, the acting head of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration, Derek Maltz, classified red wine as a Schedule I drug Wednesday in order to spite his ex-wife. We have been far too lenient to the […] The post DEA Classifies Red ...

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ITHACA, NYAs nearly a dozen prospective students were forced into the back of a car with tinted windows, a Cornell University campus tour reportedly ended Tuesday inside an unmarked Immigration and Customs Enforcement vehicle. “Over there you can see our student center, which boasts its own bowling alley, and then, if you all will follow […] The post ...

LYNCHBURG, VAIn a move that betrayed no hint of his past behavior or experiences, a guy ordering a nonalcoholic beer Tuesday had reportedly either seen a ton of shit or no shit at all. “The second this dude bellied up to the bar and put down a tattered $10 for an Athletic Brewing Co. nonalcoholic […] The post Guy Ordering Nonalcoholic Beer Has Either ...

LANSING, MIExpressing dismay at the lack of more subdued options, bereaved nephew Douglas Kerns confirmed Tuesday that the only bag of chips big enough for his uncles funeral reception said “Party Size!” on it. Were going to need refreshments for at least 40 people, but it feels wrong having all these festive colors and exclamation […] The post Only ...

ARLINGTON, VASaying the defense secretary had recklessly veered out of his lane numerous times, a highway patrol officer reportedly asked Pete Hegseth on Tuesday to carry out drone strikes in a straight line. Sir, Im going to need you to step out of the vehicle and demonstrate to me that you can authorize a straight […] The post Highway Patrol Officer ...

MANCHESTER, NHSaying the option offered an extra safety net to anyone faced with a job loss, administrators at Brentwell Solutions confirmed Wednesday that an extension of benefits through COBRA would allow terminated employees to continue raiding the office fridge for 18 months. As part of our standard severance offerings, peckish beneficiaries have a ...

The University of Maryland announced that muppet Kermit the Frog will speak at its 2025 commencement ceremony, the iconic green frog having been created by Jim Henson, who graduated from UMD in 1960. What do you think? The post Kermit The Frog To Deliver University Of Maryland Commencement Speech appeared first on The Onion.

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As the art of homesteading enjoys a resurgence in modern culture, many Americans are turning to backyard chicken coops as both an alternative source of food and a rewarding hobby. The Onion shares tips for tending a flock of chickens of your own. Decide if youll be raising chickens for food, companionship, or blood sacrifice. […] The post Tips For Keeping ...

WASHINGTONLambasting the current program as wasteful, bloated, and entirely unnecessary, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth called for steep cuts Monday to the number of steps in the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery model. We must cut through the red tape bogging down what could be a far more efficient AA, said Hegseth, who slammed the 12-step program as […] The ...

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ARLINGTON, VAArguing that the move would allow the government agency to present a united front against threats to national security, the Pentagon announced Monday that it was cutting all employees with weak jawlines. Were committed to enforcing the highest standards within the Defense Department, which is why we’re now requiring everyone who works here to ...

NEW YORKSaying he found the activity enriched his life and provided him with a real sense of purpose, local man Martin Berens, 43, spent his afternoon volunteering opinions about the homeless, sources confirmed Monday. Nothing makes me feel better than heading down to the park in my spare time and serving up a bunch of […] The post Man Spends Afternoon ...

A new Deloitte study found that about 50% of younger consumers prefer watching creator-driven content on social media over big-budget Hollywood entertainment, claiming they feel more connected to influencers than to actors. What do you think? The post Gen Z, Millennials Prefer Influencer Content Over Premium Entertainment appeared first on The Onion.

VATICAN CITYSaying the pontiffs abrupt change in personality had put them all on edge, cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church confirmed Friday that they were weirded out by how religious the pope had become following his recent brush with death. Ever since Pope Francis got out of the hospital, hes been pretty much nonstop with […] The post Cardinals ...

MADISON, WIAmid his political action committees campaign to influence a closely contested Wisconsin Supreme Court election, Elon Musk told reporters Friday that he was amazed by how much cheaper bribing voters was in the Midwest. I knew there was a lower cost of bribing out here, but I didnt expect to find this many votes […] The post Elon Musk Amazed At ...

A United Airlines flight headed to Shanghai from LAX last weekend had to turn around after two hours in the air when one of the pilots realized he had forgotten his passport. What do you think? The post United Flight Turns Around After Pilot Forgets Passport appeared first on The Onion.

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