- http://www.theonion.com/1-bedroo...l-single-at-35-1851476876Theres a deadline for love, and some people just miss it, you know? Shhh, its okay. Dont cry now.Read more...Posted 5 days 5 hours ago - 05/15/24
- http://www.theonion.com/roaring-...prices-for-gam-1851476850Keith Gill, better known by his online persona Roaring Kitty, posted for the first time in three years since instigating the 2021 GameStop short squeeze, once again causing that company and other meme stocks such as AMC to jump as much as 60% this week before trading was halted for volatility. What do you think?Read more...Posted 5 days 19 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://www.theonion.com/wizard-r...n-his-work-orb-1851422812THE CASTLE OF ISIDOREScolding the associate magister for his inappropriate use of guild resources, the High Council at Calazar Keep reportedly reprimanded wizard Ashkahol the Geomancer for watching porn on his work orb Tuesday. Weve told Ashkahol repeatedly that were trying to maintain a professional sorceryRead more...Posted 5 days 21 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://www.theonion.com/perdue-a...laying-field-b-1851423157SALISBURY, MDEmphasizing that it was an integral part of the companys mission to raise humanely sourced meat, poultry processing giant Perdue Farms announced a new initiative Tuesday to even the playing field by giving guns to chickens. At Perdue, we always strive to ensure animals are treated with dignity andRead more...Posted 5 days 23 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://www.theonion.com/progress...dents-in-woods-1851473258FORT COLLINS, COAs part of its mission to encourage learning through free expression in a natural environment, teachers at local progressive preschool Sunshine Montessori Learning Center confirmed Tuesday they had abandoned their students in the woods. Four-year-olds are natural learners, so we dont want toRead more...Posted 6 days 5 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://www.theonion.com/a-day-in...-rudy-giuliani-1851470609After years of serving in some of the highest positions of the U.S. government, Rudy Giuliani has had an unprecedented fall from grace, forcing him to file for bankruptcy last year. Heres an inside look at how the once-beloved mayor of New York City now spends his days.Read more...Posted 6 days 5 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://www.theonion.com/bob-mene...-bar-into-cour-1851473204NEW YORKMumbling Oh, come on as his ingot was rejected again, Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ) was repeatedly trying to jam a gold bar into a vending machine at a federal courthouse in Manhattan, sources confirmed Monday. Stupid slot, why wont you take my money? said the 70-year-old disgraced lawmaker, who kicked theRead more...Posted 6 days 19 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/fingers-...open-pepperoni-1851472956Posted 6 days 23 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://www.theonion.com/teetotalitarianism-1851472933Posted 6 days 23 hours ago - 05/13/24
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