- http://babylonbee.com/news/hang-...ut-to-duff-ball-6-inches/SCOTTSDALE, AZ As dozens of avid golfers enjoyed a beautiful day on courses throughout the area, one local player asked his companions to give him a moment to survey how much range he would need for his next shot before duffing the ball six inches.Posted 5 days 22 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/exerc...ight-health-conspiracies/Do you stay active to maintain your physical fitness? If so, it's a foregone conclusion that you're a far-right extremist, whether you knew it or not. In fact, exercise isn't the only dangerous right-wing health conspiracy invading American life.Posted 5 days 23 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/to-av...amala-harriss-microphone/WASHINGTON, D.C. To avoid further embarrassment from bewildering and offensive speeches, White House officials have installed a breathalyzer on Kamala Harris's microphone.Posted 6 days 1 hour ago - 05/14/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/bud-l...tes-them-dies-of-old-age/ST. LOUIS, MO Marketing executives for Anheuser-Busch have announced a comeback plan for their struggling beer brand Bud Light. According to the company, the plan involves waiting several decades until the consumers who currently hate the brand die of old age.Posted 6 days 3 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/37-ye...s-guided-missile-cruiser/SAN DIEGO, CA It was while looking out his conference room window upon the Naval fleet parked in the bay area that local man Daniel McCarty became certain he missed his calling to serve on a Ticonderoga-class guided missile cruiser.Posted 6 days 3 hours ago - 05/14/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/in-cr...ver-400-nuclear-missiles/U.S. A brand new video released by popular YouTuber MrBeast shows him firing 400 nuclear missiles to destroy the sun and plunge the solar system into eternal darkness for charity.Posted 6 days 20 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/9-tro...-an-undercover-fbi-agent/Everyone is on the lookout for the feds these days, but have you ever considered the possibility that you may be in bed with the FBI literally?Posted 6 days 21 hours ago - 05/13/24
- http://babylonbee.com/news/study...-and-hoping-for-the-best/WACO, TX With summer barbecue season about to heat up, a new study has found that a remarkable 100% of men cooking on a grill were just kinda moving meat around and hoping for the best.Posted 6 days 22 hours ago - 05/13/24
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